and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
