I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
