That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
40s are totally the cure
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
