I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I need moral support for this bender
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
