I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
