The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize