beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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