He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
