the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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