I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
