Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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