Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
