Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
