why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
