i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
