He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
