Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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