I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
