Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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