You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
