I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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