I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
