Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
