just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
