drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
we're so committed to being not committed
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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