Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
they're like a gay fantastic four
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
