Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
