...so i touched it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
