I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
