Kiss
Puke
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
