oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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