I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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