I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
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