some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
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An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
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tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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