i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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