U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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