I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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