so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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