the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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