bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
