Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
