hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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