dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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