It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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