If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize