He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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