and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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