I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
