We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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