It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
