the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
