angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize