Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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