You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
