she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
