meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
