I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
