She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
