i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
