she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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