babies were throwing up all over the place
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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