I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
A+ Viking dick
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
